A summary of the first three episodes of Rome.

I wrote this up for my friend a few weeks ago when we thought we'd be TV-less for two weeks and she resigned herself to watching the episodes of Rome I have on my computer. I only had the ones I hadn't watched yet, however, so I wrote her a...

Rome summary if you want it. It takes up the whole page.

Gaius Julius Caesar (the family is the Julii) and Pompey Magnus have been happily ruling Rome. However, Caesar has been off fighting the Gauls with Mark Anthony (Marc? Antony? Who cares…), played by Prince Edward from A Knight’s Tale. He’s Caesar’s second in command type. In charge of his enlisted men is Lucius Vorenus (some kind of non-commissioned officer, not a noble), a decent guy with a hard-on for THE REPUBLIC. Seriously, he totally says it in all caps. One of his problem soldiers is Titus Pullo, who has a hard-on for anything with boobs. He really just likes to fight and fuck, but he’s not evil, not even too bad, and pretty smart and observant.

While Caesar was off fighting, tensions were rising in the city between commoners and nobles, and between different pieces of the Senate. Some confusing shit goes down regarding the legality of Caesar’s governorship of conquered Gaul, and people get angry, Caesar decides to haul ass for Rome, Pompey is caught off guard and has to “strategically withdraw”, and the treasury gold is packed up to go with them. However, greed wins out with the soldiers transporting it, so it never gets to Pompey. Lucius and Pullo are out scouting when they find the gold train, scatter the soldiers, and ride hard back to Caesar to tell him the city is empty. Pullo later goes back to get the gold and rescue this captive girl tied to the back of the wagon.

Meanwhile, with the little people…
Atia is a righteous bitch, and Caesar’s niece. She likes to sleep around and use sex to get things she wants. She has two children by… I don’t even know who, Octavia and Octavian. Octavia is young, but was married until Atia had her divorced from her more common husband so she could be offered to Pompey to keep the bond between the Julii and Pompey’s family strong. Pompey refused her (in a really cold way, too) and then Atia had Octavia’s ex-hubby stabbed in an alley after Octavia went to him again. Octavian likes strategy, was at one point kidnapped by Gauls in association with Pompey’s main servant, and is pretty clever for a … 13 or 14 year old. He also thinks fondly of Lucius and Pullo because they were the ones that rescued him.

Servilia is Brutus’ mother, and she’s banging Caesar. Brutus is good friends with Caesar but left the city with Pompey’s group to hedge his bets. Servilia and Brutus’ family is called the Junii. I assume this means Brutus is Brutus Junius. [And I would be wrong.]

Lucius’ family is also pretty funky. When he gets back after 7 years in Gaul, his wife is holding a little baby and he calls her a whore in front of everyone. She coldly informs him it’s his grandson and that his first of 2 daughters had a baby. Turns out she’s lying, though, and his name-calling was justified. Lucius doesn’t know, but he wants to make things right with Niobe because he does love her. While he was in Gaul, he never raped while he pillaged. He’s also resigned from the army because he doesn’t like what Caesar is doing on principle. Like I said, he’s all about the Republic and rule by the people, and since Caesar is a noble, he feels lines are being crossed.

Aaaaaand, that’s hopefully a pretty good summary.

I didn't even realize that was only three episodes until I started putting this post together. Man, this show is dense!!!! (In a good way, of course.) I just finished the 8th episode and they've already gone to Egypt and passed a good year and a half. Or thereabouts, I guess.