a little late, but still so true

God, I hate Andrew Dalton SO MUCH! I don't even know this kid, and I hope he's rotting in the Los Angeles River somewhere. Better yet, I hope he went to grad school at ucla, changed his name to Mostafa Tabateinasknoifjad and lied about his year in school. Then, after being tased, I hope he fell in the river. And got pissed on by bums. And died.

Yes, I realize his little ass-licking article was published about four years ago, and yes, I realize that in the long run it doesn't matter what he thinks. It just pisses me off that the goddamned little bruins had to drag it out of the farthest recesses of the internet and start it recirculating. It's just that I read it, and I thought, "They don't need your help trashing our university. They are higher ranked academically. We do have a lot of bandwagon fans and students that give us a bad name. Way to man up and defend your alma mater and its good points. The figurative mother of your soul. Not that you have a soul after churning out this filth."

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the motherfucking "ghetto." Oh, and actually... WE'RE NOT EVEN IN THE GHETTO!!! OR SOUTH CENTRAL!!

Stick that in your pipe and watch it blow your face off. Let that teach you to smoke pipes. Dumbass.

togetherness

I like my section. Tonight was fun. I'm a good typist still. I don't konw why I'm surprised; I had hardly any alchol. Alcohol. That's right. Some people are still bitches, but that's their nature, and as Professor Manahan says, nature isn't nice. So bam. I can deal.
Aaaaaaand...I'm done.

pusillanimous

The couch is a good thing to punch. It doesn't wobble around or yield too much. I discovered this when I got home from the weekender around 6:00 this evening.

I hate how band is making me so angry this year. Many of my classmates are thinking too highly of themselves, and it doesn't help that they have the favor of some upperclassmen and some bones. They're out of control and they ruined the final portion of the bus ride back for me. I don't like it when I dread entertainment. I don't like it when I'm called up for sophomore entertainment 1) as many times as the freshmen and 2) by other sophomores. Nothing gives them the right to start acting high and mighty, not even their almighty alcohol.

This isn't even factoring how much I want to kill Julie right now. When I say kill, I'm pretty sure I just mean maim and disfigure horribly, but I can't be certain. What makes me the most unhappy is that I thought of a great comment back at her after I told my joke and she said "You're not supposed to tell us what the joke is about" all bitchily. I have my reasons. How about you sit the fuck down and quit power-tripping? My actual thought up comment was "You know what, Julie? I second-guess myself enought without your help, so why don't you shut the fuck up?" If it had started a fight, so much the better. I needed some violence right then. But I didn't. So I had to punch the couch.

And I'm a little disheartened by Roberta's leadership. What a figurehead. And why is she so distant? It's just another discomfort-inducer this year. Thank God for my linguistics buddies, that's all I have to say.

i thought the drama ended in high school.

lj title: All right, let's do this bitch!

The rage entry:

There are some real charmers in my section. My class is huge, and there is unavoidably some clique-ing. Actually, I exaggerate: there is a clique of two with 2 sweet hangers-on, and the rest of us. The rest of us get along happily whether or not we hang out all the time (which we don't), but these two girls are just...I don't know. It's like they sized us up and found us wanting because we don't get trashed Thursday or Friday nights. I mean, they and one of their nice girls quickly got the label "the pukeskateers" last year, if that clarifies things. I'm sorry, bitches, I don't like feeling shitty at a long Saturday morning practice or for my Friday classes just because someone thinks that's the way college has to be. Plus, I love my liver.

(Oh, iTunes, you know just how to raise my spirits. I love "Baba O'Riley"!!)

But I digress. This past game was versus asu, and I had friends coming. At first, I thought they would be there as we marched over, but I should have known better. So I was going to march along the outside so that I could see them easier, but I didn't since they weren't there. But I've been on the outside exactly zero times this year (including the sophomore trip [FUCK THE julie!]), and I thought it was about time I got a chance. So, after the postgame show we were lining up and I said, Ana, I want to be on the outside for the way back. She goes, why? Well, why do you fucking think, you cunt? It's a little boring in the middle and you can't get any alcohol from the crowd on the way back, so why do you care? Of course, I didn't say that because I am repressed and passive-aggressive. What I said was, you've been on the outside for every time so far this year. It's my turn.
Her: This is my spot.
Me: No, Busfuck said we can switch it off since we're THE SAME GRADE. (In retrospect, "same year" would have sounded less dumb, but whatever.)
Her: No, she said if you want it, you had to say so then.
Me: No, that is not it at all. Plenty of other older members have this same thing going on and they just switch.
Her: [bitch noises] [drunk noises?]
Me: Okay, fine, then I'll get the outside for cal and ucla.
Her: [bitch tone] Why are we talking about this now?
Me: --
And the whistle interrupted. Oh, man, I had a mouthful right then. First off, obviously, talking to her about it day of means nothing happens at all because she'll just stall me until it's time to move. Second off, why not figure it out then? Did you have somewhere to be?

I wish I had something to punch. I love my pillow too much. I wish I were taking a martial arts class. Or something. Maybe I need to get into a fight. I could kick her fat ugly ass if she didn't squash me first. Fuck you and your hockey practicing. I'll take you any day. I have no scruples. I'll kick you when you're drunk. Next time I pass you a beer in the ranks, I'm making sure it spills all over you. Watch yourself.

End rage post. I kind of feel better. Too bad some weird-ass song just started. Enough of that.

music: O Magnum Mysterium because I need some beauty right now
mood: frustrated

i would have to say fucking pissed. that's the subject.

So this is primarily a band entry. You are forewarned.

Because I'm in band and they switched us to shit seats, I get two free tickets for each home game. This is pretty sweet. It generally means I get to see my parents frequently but not too frequently in the fall semester. However, for this week (vs asu), my parents decided they didn't want to come up, and I offered the tickets to my best friends here at school: my roommate and my linguistics friend. We were all especially excited because the first song of the halftime show was "Hips Don't Lie," which is basically the Squiggle anthem. To set the story, imagine that I told them...oh, at least two weeks in advance. Because that's what I did.

This past week, the linguistics friend has been rather on edge due to an unfortunate confluence of having to move, midterming, and dealing with familial interestingness. I understand and I sympathize, but when she told me for certain that she couldn't go at 10:30 Friday night, I nearly flipped. What kind of moron do you have to be to not be at least somewhat prepared to move, especially when you have known for quite a while that it's a definite deal? Admittedly, I'm not entirely clear on the weird asshole-landlord situation, but I don't care. Today's game was a 5pm game, I got home at 10 (and that's because of band. She could have been home at...9:30 or possibly earlier), and she could have had plenty of time to be packing and cleaning all day. I mean, Meli even told her to come and enjoy herself!! (INCONSIDERATE: continue on that idea)

Eh... I took a little break and lost most of the anger momentum. Tomorrow at work I guess I'll write more about this and about tonight in terms of people in my section who should quit and/or break many bones.

location: being cold in my room... maybe I should close the window
music: Gone by tobymac

first blog of the school year

So this week has been a pretty interesting mix of good and bad. Let's start with the bad column so I can get it over with.

BAD:
-I got my syntax midterm back and I got a C-. A 69 out of 100 (which kind of belongs in the good column just for amusement value). So I was extremely displeased with that, since I had felt pretty confident leaving the room last week or whenever.
-I have a lot of things going on in terms of trying to start looking good for after graduation (meaning, ideally, med school), and they are starting to conflict. Like, I have this one political-ish action group that conflicts tonight with the first training meeting of CHIP, a health volunteer thing. And I hate politics, but this is relatively non-partisan and pretty worthwhile, since I'm on the climate and resources type group. But CHIP will be vital for med school, since doing research will probably be difficult. Plus, I really do want to get out there and help.
-Speaking of med school and the like, my bio midterm also came back, and that bitch was a hard-core D. At least without the curve. So, I'm again torn by a lack of confidence and indecision. I hate that.
-Also speaking of bio, the lab practical was a BEAR! And being a Trojan, let it be understood that's a term of much hatred and derision. Some of the questions were outrageously specific. "Look at this thing at highest magnification (even though it's still too small to reliably tell whether it's bacillus, coccus, or spirillus) and tell me its genus." Are you fucking kidding me?! Not only that, my TA just gets on my nerves in general. Heck, the bio class gets on my nerves. What do I need plant, fungal, and invertebrate knowledge for? Gah.
-The team is giving me large amounts of stress this year, and while it's fun to a point, it's kind of crazy. And I'm trying to put a good face on it, but I really don't like the Sun Deck. Trojan Nation? How awkward is that? Seriously, come on. And I don't like not being surrounded by students behind and flutes and team before. It feels spiritless and lame. You're not spirited until you're uncomfortably close!!!
-Anticlimactically, but still bad: Luz bitched at me today for playing games on the computers at work. Hypocrite! I see you playing Super Collapse! What else am I supposed to do when no one needs help? Geez.

Okay, I think that does it for bad.

GOOD:
-My parents came last weekend and brought me mini-quiches from Costco. I am ecstatic. They also brought a lot of water bottles, and they were just fun to hang out with in general. Plus, they took me out for dinner after the game, and although we didn't get to go to my first choice (El Cholo), it was delicious because that's just how The Cheesecake Factory do.
-We're 5 and 0! I like that.
-I'm feeling pretty comfortable with everyone in band, and I'm sort of getting to know people from other sections, mostly due to the sophomore trip, which I MUST blog about sometime soon.
-I'm also getting to know linguistics people a little better, which is nice, since Caroline is hardly ever on campus, and Michelle is gone every weekend.
-My skin is sort of clearing up from the random nuclear phase it was just going through.
-I got paid for my first gig! This gig, also, is to be the subject of a forthcoming blog, since it was my first small-ish yet significant one.
-I feel pretty confident about my ARLT midterm, but unfortunately, I won't know how I did for about 2 months, since that's about how slow this professor is. Actually, maybe I shouldn't feel so confident, since look what that got me linguistics-wise.
-Speaking of linguistics, the syntax class was cancelled today, which was a huge source of joy. Actually, the joy started at 9:38, since that's when my bio prof let us go. Today was her first lecture, and it was super easy and fast. So I had an extra 20 minutes to relax before syntax. I went to the bookstore to see if I wanted to spend my happy little $25 gig dollars, which I did. Unfortunately, I left my whole wallet at home, so once I found that out, I headed over to class. A little over halfway there, I spot this guy in the class and he waves and yells "Cancelled!" I slammed on the brakes, man, and screeched to a halt, that's how excited I was. Then, at noon, I went off to my better ling class and she let us out a little early too!

I think I'm done. I've been writing for forty minutes, so I had better feel fine.

music: Signed, Sealed, Delivered by Stevie Wonder (I love that man)
mood: conflicted
location: hunched at my desk, like a good little computer monkey

soul-searching in chem class

I thought up the idea for this blog in a much more magnanimous mood. Today, I'm tired and bored and dissatisfied with this chem class and its professor. Plus, the desks in here are (not comfortable. I can't even put my feet up because they don't have the right type of basket under the chairs. Just ice my bitter cake with a thick layer of acetic acid (CH3COOH).

Let's try to get back to the mood, though. It was a good point that I had. Basically, it was going to be a self-critique for years of egotism and subconscious elitism. I started the aforementioned cursèd chem class two weeks ago with the idea that it was going to be super easy and that I would be surrounded by a bunch of numbnuts. Two reasons I should have known I was wrong: 1) two of my very good friends go to Mira Costa all year, and 2) all sorts of high school and college students take classes for credit in the summer. Then I realized why I hadn't thought of this in the first place: I had been thinking of my friends as less intelligent because they were at community colleges.

That's stupid. Katie's saving money right and left and has a clear idea of what she wants to do, and Langa's pre-med on the cheap. I'm the one that's following rather blindly in the American middle-class teen tradition. That's not a bad thing, per se, but the smugness is.

(and that's it. apparently class ended or something. 10 May 2007)

cell phone blues

Yesterday I lost my cell phone somehow, and I was shocked to find out how lost that made me feel. I'm sure it's partly due to my dependency on my phone as a watch and alarm clock, and that my feelings of panic this morning when I still couldn't find it can be chalked up to morning disorientation and the like, but it's still true that I am too dependent on my cell phone.

It has my only timekeeping device (other than my laptop), my sole functioning alarm clock (very important), and my only non-laptop source of contact data for friends and family. More than that, it's my lifeline. If I get lost or bored or confused, I can just call someone with my handy pocket-phone. But I know people who do just fine without cell phones. Melissa at work doesn't have a cell. Actually, she might be the only one I can think of.

So maybe I've only now come to realize that I'm just like everyone else in this. Oh well. In September, I get a shiny new one!

6 May 2007 entered